May 27, 2005
(More Movie Reviewing & Firefly Geekiness)
I caught the second set of the Serenity pre-screenings yesterday. And now I am caught in the warped position of a critic whose single artistic complaint was the shortening of a guitar sequence.
I am astounded. By a degree to which I have no comparison.
To begin with, you see, the intro bridging all the plot revealed in the series does this amazing thing where it doesn't suck.
Amazing.
One, single, straightforward, understandable, non-summarizing, crazy cool introduction that portrays everything perfectly and does it without ever turning the wrong corner into cliché.
I was prepared for an intro that I could passingly write off as a necessary evil. I was not prepared for this.
And then the real movie opens with a incredible pan of Serenity as it enters the atmosphere. Wash and Malcolm talk about their impeding doom over the plastic dinosaurs strewn across the bridge, while the rickety ship falls apart around them.
And, before Jayne even posits that he doesn't like exploding, we're back. Three years without Firefly melt away and our big damn heroes are strapping on AK-47s and arguing over whether some routine Bank-Robbing necessitates grenades.
Simon decks the captain and we know that time has passed. That months have flown by and this family has grown.
I would have cried but for the chance of missing just the tiniest detail.
I walked into this movie (after fighting tooth and nail for pre-screening-tickets for weeks) with, it must be said, absolutely no faith in Joss Whedon.
I don't like Vampires. I think Buffy was crap. And no, I will not shut up. Just 'cause a guy writes the wittiest scripts in Hollywood don't make him infallible. Plus the guy's fat. And I hate fat people on principle.
The only real thing he and I share is a profound love for a little world where China and America signed a pact and crushed humanity between them, fleeing Earth for the stars. A love for six-shooters, horses and (newly terraformed) prairie. A love for space battles that are absolutely silent, compliant with the laws of physics. A belief that real Mandarin far surpasses some bullshit alien language. A distain for "faster than light" travel. And a love of shooting first, fuck the questions.
Okay. We share a lot of loves. Cowboys, spaceships and plastic dinosaurs. Every five year-old's toy box.
But we are really in love with humanity. The struggle of a few not-so-perfect men and women to keep food on the table and wind beneath their wings.
You'll hear a lot of talk that Serenity is about finding "belief" or even "faith."
God knows a TV show with its own Preacher, a show that began with a soldier's rejection of the divine upon his army's crushing defeat, a show with constant Buddhist influences... has more than a little contact with religion.
But the story of Malcolm Reynolds and River Tam is, I think, far better summarized as the painful voyage in search of a reason to live. Something sorta like redemption but more tangy.
This is a zombie movie, about the walking dead. It's hardcore Anarcho-Libertarianism from a Liberal Progressive. It's a shoot-em-up Western.
In space.
With anime fruit-bar commercials.
It's a fucking rollercoaster, leaving you gasping and licking your lips at the end.
Now how the fuck do you make an advertisement for that?
Easy.
You let a few thousand people watch it. And then they tell their friends.
I caught the second set of the Serenity pre-screenings yesterday. And now I am caught in the warped position of a critic whose single artistic complaint was the shortening of a guitar sequence.
I am astounded. By a degree to which I have no comparison.
To begin with, you see, the intro bridging all the plot revealed in the series does this amazing thing where it doesn't suck.
Amazing.
One, single, straightforward, understandable, non-summarizing, crazy cool introduction that portrays everything perfectly and does it without ever turning the wrong corner into cliché.
I was prepared for an intro that I could passingly write off as a necessary evil. I was not prepared for this.
And then the real movie opens with a incredible pan of Serenity as it enters the atmosphere. Wash and Malcolm talk about their impeding doom over the plastic dinosaurs strewn across the bridge, while the rickety ship falls apart around them.
And, before Jayne even posits that he doesn't like exploding, we're back. Three years without Firefly melt away and our big damn heroes are strapping on AK-47s and arguing over whether some routine Bank-Robbing necessitates grenades.
Simon decks the captain and we know that time has passed. That months have flown by and this family has grown.
I would have cried but for the chance of missing just the tiniest detail.
I walked into this movie (after fighting tooth and nail for pre-screening-tickets for weeks) with, it must be said, absolutely no faith in Joss Whedon.
I don't like Vampires. I think Buffy was crap. And no, I will not shut up. Just 'cause a guy writes the wittiest scripts in Hollywood don't make him infallible. Plus the guy's fat. And I hate fat people on principle.
The only real thing he and I share is a profound love for a little world where China and America signed a pact and crushed humanity between them, fleeing Earth for the stars. A love for six-shooters, horses and (newly terraformed) prairie. A love for space battles that are absolutely silent, compliant with the laws of physics. A belief that real Mandarin far surpasses some bullshit alien language. A distain for "faster than light" travel. And a love of shooting first, fuck the questions.
Okay. We share a lot of loves. Cowboys, spaceships and plastic dinosaurs. Every five year-old's toy box.
But we are really in love with humanity. The struggle of a few not-so-perfect men and women to keep food on the table and wind beneath their wings.
You'll hear a lot of talk that Serenity is about finding "belief" or even "faith."
God knows a TV show with its own Preacher, a show that began with a soldier's rejection of the divine upon his army's crushing defeat, a show with constant Buddhist influences... has more than a little contact with religion.
But the story of Malcolm Reynolds and River Tam is, I think, far better summarized as the painful voyage in search of a reason to live. Something sorta like redemption but more tangy.
This is a zombie movie, about the walking dead. It's hardcore Anarcho-Libertarianism from a Liberal Progressive. It's a shoot-em-up Western.
In space.
With anime fruit-bar commercials.
It's a fucking rollercoaster, leaving you gasping and licking your lips at the end.
Now how the fuck do you make an advertisement for that?
Easy.
You let a few thousand people watch it. And then they tell their friends.
May 20, 2005
(Revenge of the Suck)
Wow. What a dumb teenybopper title. But it's true.
Revenge of the Sith had a few nice touches. And my little geek heart swelled to finally see Obi-Wan wipe the lava-spackled floor with that arrogant punk. But I cannot begin to describe how horrid the acting was. Absolutely horrid. And I like the other prequels. I ended up MST3k-ing the damn thing in the middle of the midnight showing. And I wasn't alone.
Anyone who's ever bitched about the prequels' heavy CGI deserves a nasty death, but honestly, the only thing stunning about this film was how masterfully Samuel Jackson portrayed a soap opera reject.
Ian Mcdiarmid's Palpatine was one of the most beautifully delivered villains to ever grace the silver screen, but the core of his character was his absolute inability to take risks. In every situation, in every manipulation of the Jedi or the Senate, Palpatine was ready. The good guys kick his lackey's ass and only to deliver another whole pre-bundled package of supreme power to our good Chancellor. That's the trick, the tragedy and horror of the prequel trilogy. No matter what our heroes do, no matter how hard they fight or how much of the conspiracy they uncover, Palpatine is ready with another fallback plan, sometimes better than the original. At the end of the day they blow up the bad guys, save the day and when they return home all they can do is mope about while the galaxy inexplicably continues to fall apart around them.
Palpatine is the fulcrum of millennia of mistakes and failures on the part of the Jedi. He is the Evil that they never vanquished. And his time has come. Mcdiarmid has done a wonderful job portraying this, ever since Return of the Jedi. This whole string of wars he's engineered, this whole set of perfect plans, never requires him to roll the dice. He just sits back and wins. And to him that's the power of the Dark Side. The key to the whole damn saga is that he was wrong. Even after forging the most powerful empire ever dreamed of, even after orchestrating the moves of the very rebellion against his rule, he was simply never going to win. It was Anakin's collapse, his angry teenage cop-out that allowed so much evil to spread. And dark suits and hokey "Darth" names couldn't hide the real Anakin.
That's the Star Wars saga. (Well Obi-wan and Han too) And it's something that Episode III just doesn't quite do justice. Palpatine's sudden playdoh transformation (a last minute directorial decision by Lucas) rather than slow physical degradation? Palpatine actually picking up a lightsabre? That's bullshit man.
And if Yoda and Palpatine were gonna fight in the Senate. It should have been while the Senate was in session.
Bah.
But, let it be known, I did leave the theater with a grin on my face. Come september Serenity will so kick Lucas' ass into a jet engine.
Wow. What a dumb teenybopper title. But it's true.
Revenge of the Sith had a few nice touches. And my little geek heart swelled to finally see Obi-Wan wipe the lava-spackled floor with that arrogant punk. But I cannot begin to describe how horrid the acting was. Absolutely horrid. And I like the other prequels. I ended up MST3k-ing the damn thing in the middle of the midnight showing. And I wasn't alone.
Anyone who's ever bitched about the prequels' heavy CGI deserves a nasty death, but honestly, the only thing stunning about this film was how masterfully Samuel Jackson portrayed a soap opera reject.
Ian Mcdiarmid's Palpatine was one of the most beautifully delivered villains to ever grace the silver screen, but the core of his character was his absolute inability to take risks. In every situation, in every manipulation of the Jedi or the Senate, Palpatine was ready. The good guys kick his lackey's ass and only to deliver another whole pre-bundled package of supreme power to our good Chancellor. That's the trick, the tragedy and horror of the prequel trilogy. No matter what our heroes do, no matter how hard they fight or how much of the conspiracy they uncover, Palpatine is ready with another fallback plan, sometimes better than the original. At the end of the day they blow up the bad guys, save the day and when they return home all they can do is mope about while the galaxy inexplicably continues to fall apart around them.
Palpatine is the fulcrum of millennia of mistakes and failures on the part of the Jedi. He is the Evil that they never vanquished. And his time has come. Mcdiarmid has done a wonderful job portraying this, ever since Return of the Jedi. This whole string of wars he's engineered, this whole set of perfect plans, never requires him to roll the dice. He just sits back and wins. And to him that's the power of the Dark Side. The key to the whole damn saga is that he was wrong. Even after forging the most powerful empire ever dreamed of, even after orchestrating the moves of the very rebellion against his rule, he was simply never going to win. It was Anakin's collapse, his angry teenage cop-out that allowed so much evil to spread. And dark suits and hokey "Darth" names couldn't hide the real Anakin.
That's the Star Wars saga. (Well Obi-wan and Han too) And it's something that Episode III just doesn't quite do justice. Palpatine's sudden playdoh transformation (a last minute directorial decision by Lucas) rather than slow physical degradation? Palpatine actually picking up a lightsabre? That's bullshit man.
And if Yoda and Palpatine were gonna fight in the Senate. It should have been while the Senate was in session.
Bah.
But, let it be known, I did leave the theater with a grin on my face. Come september Serenity will so kick Lucas' ass into a jet engine.
May 14, 2005
(What's Up)
I died. Yup. Train got hit by reavers and burned her right down. Never made it back to Portland.
So that's how I'm doing.
Ah, yes, so I've come to realize that screens with horrid resolution (like those at your typical library) don't react all to well to large, un-scaled jpegs on an HTML-lite page like this. Sorry folks. Maybe I'll do something about that when I start caring.
I died. Yup. Train got hit by reavers and burned her right down. Never made it back to Portland.
So that's how I'm doing.
Ah, yes, so I've come to realize that screens with horrid resolution (like those at your typical library) don't react all to well to large, un-scaled jpegs on an HTML-lite page like this. Sorry folks. Maybe I'll do something about that when I start caring.
May 09, 2005
(Homeless In Portland)
Well, this time it's more like bumming at friends' houses in Portland. But the idea is there. Sorta. Kinda.
Anyway. I figure I should leave yall with pictures during my trip back to the great city and said homelessness.
These pictures of me neighborhood come from the lovely Portland Grounds photoblog. Of which I am a great fan and you should be too.
And this one goes out to those folks at the Red & Black who gave me pouty faces over my comments a few months ago. Aw, guys, it’s alright to be bourgeoisie.
Well, this time it's more like bumming at friends' houses in Portland. But the idea is there. Sorta. Kinda.
Anyway. I figure I should leave yall with pictures during my trip back to the great city and said homelessness.
These pictures of me neighborhood come from the lovely Portland Grounds photoblog. Of which I am a great fan and you should be too.
And this one goes out to those folks at the Red & Black who gave me pouty faces over my comments a few months ago. Aw, guys, it’s alright to be bourgeoisie.
May 05, 2005
(Activists Pull Off Walkout At Jefferson High School)
It's really nice to see Portland students reinvigorated. Especially Jefferson students.
It's really nice to see Portland students reinvigorated. Especially Jefferson students.
May 04, 2005
(So... Are The English Having An Election Or Something?)
Are they allowed to do that now? I thought they were still bein' all iffy over that newfangled "equal citizenship" thing goin' around.
Well... can't be that important. I mean the UK's like five old fogies and Terry Gilliam, right? Maybe like six or seven other folk if you count that bit of Scotland and Ireland they're still occupyin'.
Besides. It's just an election. It's not as if they can change the government or accomplish anything important.
Are they allowed to do that now? I thought they were still bein' all iffy over that newfangled "equal citizenship" thing goin' around.
Well... can't be that important. I mean the UK's like five old fogies and Terry Gilliam, right? Maybe like six or seven other folk if you count that bit of Scotland and Ireland they're still occupyin'.
Besides. It's just an election. It's not as if they can change the government or accomplish anything important.
May 01, 2005
(Today Is An Auspicious Day)
A holiday like no other, May Day is recognized by every government in the world with only a few exceptions.
The United States is one of them.
But May Day is an unquestionably American creation.
And the rest of the world knows this. They knew it even as Stalin stood above the blood-red banners, flickering in the frosty wind, and tried his damnedest to make freedom synonymous with oppression.
May Day is not about labor unions. May Day is not about obscure religions and it is not about any process through which shoes might be distributed.
No.
May Day is about the human spirit. May Day is the day we look up from our work and shiver with sheer uncontrollable joy to realize the reality before us and the awesome improbability of it. May Day is the day we remember that we are still here.
We've been beaten, we've been trialed, we've been hung. We've been fought from every corner of the Earth. We. Are. Still. Here.
And hey, guess what, it might even be that we're winning.
A holiday like no other, May Day is recognized by every government in the world with only a few exceptions.
The United States is one of them.
But May Day is an unquestionably American creation.
And the rest of the world knows this. They knew it even as Stalin stood above the blood-red banners, flickering in the frosty wind, and tried his damnedest to make freedom synonymous with oppression.
May Day is not about labor unions. May Day is not about obscure religions and it is not about any process through which shoes might be distributed.
No.
May Day is about the human spirit. May Day is the day we look up from our work and shiver with sheer uncontrollable joy to realize the reality before us and the awesome improbability of it. May Day is the day we remember that we are still here.
We've been beaten, we've been trialed, we've been hung. We've been fought from every corner of the Earth. We. Are. Still. Here.
And hey, guess what, it might even be that we're winning.
(Burrito-Gate II)
The biggest calamity to have ever befallen my old highschool (to hear the faculty speak) wasn't our constant calamitous loss of funds, the universally unloved nazi VP, gang violence, massive thefts or the various political campaigns that electrified the student body... No, it was the use of a couple of burritos in a school assembly that everyone skipped.
I think it's pretty clear that burritos are, in fact, the natural enemy of teachers everywhere.
The biggest calamity to have ever befallen my old highschool (to hear the faculty speak) wasn't our constant calamitous loss of funds, the universally unloved nazi VP, gang violence, massive thefts or the various political campaigns that electrified the student body... No, it was the use of a couple of burritos in a school assembly that everyone skipped.
I think it's pretty clear that burritos are, in fact, the natural enemy of teachers everywhere.
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